What is a princess? Is a princess someone who dresses in fancy gowns and tiaras? A little girl’s dream persona perhaps? A nickname for a beloved wife or a cherished daughter? Or is a princess much more than that?
According to Webster, a princess, by definition, is this: the consort of a prince and a non-reigning female member of a royal family, especially a daughter of the sovereign. Aaahh, there it is. Now, while Webster didn’t capitalize Sovereign, I will always do so. When I think of Sovereign, I think of The Sovereign- The Lord God Almighty, The King of Kings.
All that said, what is my point? Simply this: if God is a King and you are His daughter, what does that make you? You got it! You, my sister, are a true, blue princess. And so am I. And let me just say here that I didn’t always think of myself as one. It’s still hard for me to do that sometimes. I have to remind myself of it everyday, in fact. You may not think of yourself as a princess right now, either, but I intend to help you a little bit with that.
I’m going to try as best as I can to share my story and explain why I thought of myself as anything but a princess. My memory fails me at times but you’ll get the idea, even if what I share may seem a little choppy. See, I have what I call a “Swiss Cheese” brain. I call it that, because it’s full of holes. Okay, I really got the term from a classic V.C. Andrews book which I never seemed to be able to get rid of when I became a Christian. I got rid of a lot of my books and VHS tapes after I found salvation, mostly because of bad language or, and I’m not going to sugarcoat it here, pure smut. But this book was different. Yes, the story was dark and twisted and tragic- it’s written by V.C. Andrews, after all. It’s not a Christian piece of literature by a long shot, but there was always something about that book that made it one of my favorites.
It was the girl. It was the poor girl who had a “Swiss Cheese Memory” full of holes. I identified with her somehow, and not just because of her sketchy memory. I related to her. Because of the horrific violation she’d suffered in the story maybe? Perhaps that’s part of it, but I won’t get into gory details since this is a Christian blog and I want to remain tasteful.
I suppose my story really began when my father abandoned me. I was about two years old, according to my mother, and he had been battling a terrible drug and alcohol addiction. My mother couldn’t help him, and we weren’t enough to keep him. Truth be told, she kicked him out to keep us safe, but even that was not enough of a wake-up call to scare him clean.
My mother protected me from the truth for as long as she could, God bless her. She allowed me to blame her; she allowed me to take my anger out on her; she even allowed me to hate her at times, because she knew I would never hate him. I loved him so much it hurt, and later in life I discovered that being abandoned by him was one of the main reasons behind my food addiction. There was no way I could ever believe that what happened was his fault, so that meant it must be mine. There must have been something wrong with me. I must have been unlovable. What made me so unlovable, I never knew, so I started eating- a lot. The women in my family had always been obsessed with weight and the way they looked, so I suppose I believed that if I was overweight, that would make me unlovable, and then everything that happened would make sense. Somehow, if I was overweight, I could reconcile in my mind why his leaving was my fault- why I wasn’t enough for him.
Fast forward to my mother’s second marriage. I don’t remember how old I was- eight or ten maybe. The age doesn’t matter; what mattered is I would spend the rest of my impressionable years being told I was never good enough. (As if I didn’t already know that.) It was instilled in me that I would never amount to anything, and I had grown to believe it. I mentioned this in my last blog post, and you can check it out here if you’d like a little more insight about my upbringing.
The point I’m trying to make is that when you’ve spent your whole life believing that you aren’t enough, you tend to have a pretty difficult time believing you are a princess! Far from it, in fact! If there were ever such a sad sap with daddy issues, I was it.
I grew up feeling lonely, insecure, and looking for love in all the wrong places. I wasn’t always a Christian, but God was always with me, even before I knew Him! He protected me from diseases, unplanned pregnancies, and even from being violated as a teenager, because I sure put myself out there as an easy target! I had gotten myself into quite a few pickles, but God always had me in the palm of His hand. Why? Why did He have His hand of protection upon me before I even gave Him my heart? He did it because He loves me, and He has a plan for my life! I am His. I am God’s creation, and none of God’s creations are accidents or mistakes.
I want to share a passage of Scripture with you that will change your life if you let it. It’s found in the Psalms, and it reads, “For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful; I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.” Psalms, 139:13-16, NIV
Does that sound like you’re a mistake? I’ve got news for you…God doesn’t make junk! Not only are you not junk, but you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and there is a plan for your life!
You may not yet know what God’s plan is for your life, but He does, and maybe your first step is to accept yourself for who you are, and then trust in Him to lay out the path before you. You may not be able to see yourself the way that God sees you, and that’s okay; I don’t either most of the time. But here is what I know: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17, NKJV
All things have become new. You have become new! It doesn’t matter where you come from, where you’ve been, or what you’ve done. If you are in Christ, you are a new creation! And not just any creation, but a royal creation… a princess.
Ephesians 1:5 tells us, “God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.” (NLT) Wow! Adopting me gave God great pleasure! He wanted me! Scuff marks and all! And He wants you, too. The Bible certainly wasn’t written just for little old Alicia from a map dot in Pennsylvania.
Have you ever dreamed something for yourself that you didn’t believe you were good enough to achieve? Have you ever desired something in your life that you didn’t believe you were worthy enough to have? Did you ever set goals that you didn’t believe you were capable of achieving anyway, so you just shoved them down deep? I have been there, my sister! And I learned that all of those doubts and fears are nothing but lies from the enemy who doesn’t want you to be who God says you are! He doesn’t want you to achieve the dreams that God placed on your heart, because that would help the world. The devil doesn’t want to further God’s kingdom, he wants to further his own kingdom! So, he has made it his mission to keep us feeling knocked down and dragged out. He has made it his mission to keep us in that place of “not enough” because our successes mean that God’s plans for our lives are coming to fruition.
Have you ever heard of the expression “pay it forward?” Well it’s the same concept. If we begin to achieve our goals and dreams, we are going to start helping others achieve their goals and dreams. We are going to share God’s truth like I’m doing right now. Before you know it, we’re going to start making the world a better place… one life at a time. The devil certainly doesn’t want that! And what’s so awesome is that we all have a different job to do. I won’t get into the body of Christ right now, because that’s a message for a different day. Suffice it to say, we all have a part to play, but we all have the same end goal.
Maybe sharing your story in a blog isn’t your cup of tea, but working in the Missions Field is more your style. Did you ever aspire to travel to far away places so you can help those less fortunate than yourself? Maybe the thought of doing Missions makes you break out into a cold sweat, but you know you love children. Maybe volunteering in a children’s ministry at your home church is more up your alley. Maybe you’re more of the standing-on-the-street-corner type who wants to share the good news with passers-by. Whatever it may be and whatever your talents and desires are… God put them there. He designed you with a purpose! Try to spend at least ten minutes a day telling yourself all of these wonderful truths. Look in your mirror and see yourself as the child of God that you are.
I saw a saying once with which I completely fell in love. It was a picture of a pineapple with the words, “Be like a pineapple. Stand tall, be sweet, and wear a crown.” As a child of God, I fell in love with this saying, because it was a simple reminder that I am a princess. Now I think of it every time I see a pineapple, and I love anything with pineapples on it. I want you to remind yourself of this truth every time you see one, too. You ARE a princess! Now put on that crown, and hold your head up high, my friend! Allow yourself to dream those dreams. Allow God to give you the hope of achieving them, because He is the one that put them there from the beginning.
What are your dreams and aspirations? I would love to hear all about them so I can encourage you and pray for you! Feel free to comment below if you’d like to share anything about your own self-doubts and how you are trying to overcome them. Be blessed, my sister, and… be a pineapple!